In three straight weeks, Hickman has started X-Men with a bang, just like my reignited marriage with my wife. As a thank you for communicating to me to keep erect through thrusting into my wife, here are the top 10 moments that helped me stay erect while thrusting into my wife.
This is Hickman commenting that while I, aka human, slept on my wife, my marriage, aka my world, changed. I was too fixated on projecting someone saving stale and unremarkable comics, that my sex life became in and of itself, stale and unremarkable. This gave me a boner because it was like if he was looking me through the pages and telling me to fuck.
Here, Hickman is saying that his creativity and ambitions for the X-Men is well nourished and bountiful, much like the Sentinels’ amount of manufactured mutants. This gave me a boner because Hickman wanted me to know that those tubes should be filled with sex juice from the excitement I am getting at this redefinition of comics as a medium and put into my wife before she leaves me.
This one is epic because it is literally Hickman telling ME to come to him, who is an extension of my wife, WITHOUT EVEN SAYING COME. How fucking genius is that? This panel gave me a boner because you can study this panel through every academic dissection on the planet, and there is only one meaning to come out of it unlike the bible or constitution.
Here Hickman is telling me that my wife exists, and thus so is my marriage. Even more so through Mystique, Hickman is telling me that she isn’t happy that I just lost interest in being intimate with her. This gave me a boner because it’s almost like he is telling me that just like my disinterest in the crumbling concept of comics being killed by my desperate need to project a savior complex to any book or creator that I mildly am safe in engaging with before it even starts, that I should project Hickman as the savior of my leaky, fart noise making balloon of a sex life.
Ok, this is self explanatory, these all look like nipples.
Here Hickman is telling us that this book will bring back more than just a spark in comics. That this book will do to reader’s enthusiasm as it will my bedroom: it will fire it up. This gave me a boner, specifically, because Hickman gave a nod to how I orgasm right there on the page.
This is just a tiddy.
This is Hickman at pure Hickman letting us know that sharing a dead bed with me is not so much uneventful as it is soul sucking to be so completely unsatisfied sexually and to a larger extent, emotionally while being so cerebrally close enough for me to touch a person. This gave me a boner because Hickman has laid the ground work that even in the future, I will not need procedures or drugs to feign interest in my marriage, but this comics run as it will be the only comics run anyone will ever need once it is actually finished.
This is Hickman letting us know that if you peer into the the subtleties of his plan from the get go, you will see and be beyond satisfied with this X-Men book. This is shown here in the black panels letting us know that even if we can’t see what’s going to happen, we can just project anything and everything to make us feel better. This gave me a boner because it was like a wake up call about I should just trust my own assumptions about what Hickman is saying before he has room to say what he wants about how to maintain and hold the healthy sex behaviors I have picked up from projecting onto these 3 issues, much like my hips into my wife.
Who doesn’t get a boner from needless complicated and expensive narratives being marketed and digested with blind enthusiasm? My wife that’s who, which is why I have to think about Hickman’s X-Men so much to keep me hard. That’s All Folks!