Durnkin Reveewz: Heroes in Crisis #7

*To those who do not know what they’re about to read. Well, here’s your warning. The following is just Zechs being Zechs. Grammatical errors are bound to happen you down three bottles of This Ain’t Your Dad’s Root Beer or several soft drinks mixed with Captain Morgan trying to comprehend some of the comics he reads.

Further, these reviews began originally on the Outhousers forums. Those looking for a numerical system as per my other reviews best look else. Some folk who love me blurting out raw brutally honest shit, and rather have that be on the front page. So there. You’ve been warned what you’re about to read. If anything now it’s on your head for not following the warnings above.

** Secondary warning there be spoilers in this review.

That’s some pretty art we’re seeing yet again in Heroes in Crisis #7. Clay Mann is a freaking gorgeous artist and the colorist should be given great kudos too as well. And– that’s about all I can say positive about this issue.

That and the finish line for the story is in sight. After this, we’ve only got two more issues left. YET… I feel like even though I’ve read seven issues there’s been actually nine. Two issues that seem lost that only the writer Tom King knows what’s actually going on. Sort of like an article written by me. Hmm.. this would be almost meta if I were Tom King, and commenting on my own work. NAH!!!

The issue feels jarring to say the least as we’re given more questions than answers. We get the SHOCK reveal that Wally West is indeed still alive. But– he’s prepping for his eventual death that we see in #1. Oh, so time traveling shenanigans indeed! If only that can fix all the mayhem, nah too easy. This is a 90s Marvel DC Comic.

The other thing we get in this issue is basically Harley/Booster have therapeutic treatment that years at Sanctuary couldn’t provide or accomplish. With the Wally flashbacks, this subplot, and what we’ve seen. I’d say Sanctuary is a highly flawed concept that really gives no such of therapy at all and only worsened the conditions at large. ….. This is so going to be revealed as Bane’s keikaku. I just know it. It just seemly fits that the fragile setting Sanctuary that a villain like Bane would just be a kid in a candy shop breaking everyone who goes to that place.

But I digress, again this comic just makes me ask questions like: if Wally in the past who kills the Wally in the present has timey-whimey powers. How’d he get them? I thought Wally had those powers gone? Or was he lying? Also, this issue kind of contradicts the recent Batman/Flash crossover with the way Batman/the Flash are having banter. Likewise, a few other things that seem wrong.

The other thing is Poison Ivy’s powers. So Wally used his to jump start Ivy (who did actually die but we never saw the act cause– why exactly?) and now she’s reborn as a Julia from Hellraiser II: Hellbound. I mean is anyone getting that vibe when looking at the new Ivy design when she emerges from the flower but me? Cause I am so getting a Julia vibe the moment Ivy was reborn?

Also it kind or proves Citizen Steel’s entry a few issues ago correct. Death is really meaningless. We’re not even at the end of this story, and already a character killed from it has been brought back. Save for the piles of dead Teen Titans. But I guess Dan Didio must get his blood sacrifice in to ensure another lengthy term at DC.

I mean yeah sure this does basically end the debate is Ivy dead or not. We basically never see and instead are just shown, “Hey Ivy’s back. Rejoice.” Okay, comic, but I still have questions. Like is this basically Ivy’s re-genesis ala what happened to her between Infinite Crisis and One Year Later? Where she died and was reborn closer to being plant. Then kind of gained a HUGE power boast, which then got negated thanks to the New 52. But it looks like it might be restored here. Just so many questions and this comic is giving me zero answers. Also I almost buy her being as clueless as we are on Wally admitting he’s the killer. My best guess is they’re going to reveal Ivy’s death via flashback which in turn reveals who the true killer is.

Though again, this sort of aligns with some of the leaks that were out prior to this series. Ivy was killed but the death undone by not even the end of the series. I guess Wally being revealed to be the killer, but has the guilt that he was decides to join the Suicide Squad looks to be right align with those cards (WHY!?).

Also I haven’t even gotten to Batgirl in all of this who feels like can be any character in this story. She doesn’t really even add anything to this. Other than be there and one-punch Ted Kord to allow Harley to almost kill Booster. Add to the very weird way King wrote Barbara in Detective Comics #1000 and his whole characterization of Barbara just feels off. Then again, I digress. I’ve had a lot of troubles with the characterization of Barbara since the New 52 began. This isn’t something new for me.

Heroes in Crisis #7 is a gorgeous mess of a comic. Just when you think you’ll get an answer ten more questions pop up. The characterizations are bad. The concept itself is just meh. And you just have to question what the point of all this is other than to put certain characters in other comics, plus oh yeah kill off a bunch of characters because– HEY! It just isn’t a Crisis without a dead Teen Titan. Dear me, I feel like even I’m repeating myself like DC is with this comic.

Least there’s only two more issues left. Then Doomsday Clock can wipe this fine mess away. I mean at this point. That’s why that comic has been delayed so long? So that Geoff Johns can just pull up his sleeves and say, “Okay, let me fix this mess.” Better that than the alternative of this leading into the godawful idea of another villains-rule event (this would be the fourth of DC’s in just under ten years). Then again, after a story without villains like this? Maybe that is sort of a blessing. Save for the more Teen Titans both events will have.

Just two more issues left. Just two more…. Then this madness will be over. Black Canary really did have the best idea in just up and leaving this comic entirely. She truly is the hero we deserve. Unlike the heroes we get in this comic.

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