Durnkin Reveewz: Heroes in Crisis #6

*To those who do not know what they’re about to read. Well, here’s your warning. The following is just Zechs being Zechs. Grammatical errors are bound to happen you down three bottles of This Ain’t Your Dad’s Root Beer or several soft drinks mixed with Captain Morgan trying to comprehend some of the comics he reads.

Further, these reviews began originally on the Outhousers forums. Those looking for a numerical system as per my other reviews best look else. Some folk who love me blurting out raw brutally honest shit, and rather have that be on the front page. So there. You’ve been warned what you’re about to read. If anything now it’s on your head for not following the warnings above.

Ah, Heroes in Crisis. You thought with the Outhouse closing that this journey would be over. That I wouldn’t be allowed to finish this wild ride of edge?

HA!

I wish it was that easy. No. Not even the death of the Outhouse won’t end this journey of pain and suffering that I intend to finish.

At this point, I’ve just given up all hope and have fixated on the mystery itself. I’ve given up just trying to make sense of the unsensible. This story has more holes than an article written by me.

We get the same problems as past issues. A Titan introduced only to *GASP* be killed off. At this point, the killing of a Titan just doesn’t phase me. I doubt it phases any reader of DC Comics since “Graduation Day”, which began this miserable story-telling technique at the company.

Of course, there’s also yet another issue of fan favorite Wally West being throw under the bus. Given more pain. Given more edge. You know? Just what he really needed! Not that wholesome stuff and the stuff that endeared him. No, writer Tom King seems hellbent to give Wally a fate worse than the first encounter with Hunter Zolomon aka Zoom. And really, why the heck aren’t we talking about that story in this comic?

Why isn’t that the crux of all of this? I mean… Wally lost his family, but the storyline of Zoom literally killing both his children should be the key to this all. But dammit all if we’ve seen it in this series. Nope, it’s all, “MY FAMILY IS GONE! TAKEN AWAY!” That story kind of did that too. Why aren’t we getting any reference to that? Or was that just a better story with an ending that makes all this kind of mute?

Not to mention, if bringing this character back was leading to this: then what was the point then? Better limbo than see a godawful story to muck this character up to those who enjoyed them. Yet, here we are six issues in and I can just visualize friends who are fans of Wally basically cradling that pillow as he was this issue. Just want this madness to stop.

The good news is we only have three more issues of this exhausting grim ride and at this point, two thoughts have entered my mind. This story is just going to end with a tease to another event, won’t it? That the “Age of the Villain” that DC has begun hyping this very week this story will lead into. We won’t get a resolution. We won’t get a “happy” end. No, just more utter cruelty and readers who were brought in by the promise of Rebirth, wiping more spit being flung in their faces as they watch their heroes fall.

There’s also the fact that you can’t really get attached to any new character you see in any of this. Because guess what? They dead. Oh, sure this is comics and death is now but a revolving door (thanks Big Two), but for minor characters who’ve been appearing in this story? There’s a good chance this might stick. Case in point Gnarrk.

I forgot about Gnarrk. Yet, here in this issue he’s brought back– to be killed. Yet, I can’t help but say build-up to his death was far more resonating than any of the prior deaths here. While, Lagoon Boy’s made me scream, “WHY IS TITANS EAST BACK IN CONTINUITY?!” Or Red Devil’s back!! And he’s dead– again. Here at least after so long it just feels so damn impactful. Though it feels too little too late at this point for me.

Then there’s the skeleton in the closet so to speak: Poison Ivy. Again, her fate in this comic is side-stepped. It was on the cover originally (and controversially this issue). But not surprisingly we still don’t know if she is dead and worse she feels like a suspect as well (which in tail goes with that whacky tradition of DC currently not knowing what to do with this character).

But again, I digress the mystery of who is the murderer does entertain me. I confess fully the clues we get this issue makes me have so many theories as to who the murderer is and why.

And if so just how much at fault are Sanctuary’s creators in Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman? Like seriously this was the best they could come up with? Oy. Then again, it just isn’t a plan of Batman’s blowing up in every DC heroes’ faces. Wait, we’re retrading this story for the sixth time in just over ten years?

I think it’s time for DC to find up some new faults if their de-facto story of someone other than Batman screwing up. Then again, I guess it has a “freshness” of the entire Trinity being at fault here. But with Batman getting the true blame over in the current x-over the character is having with Flash. Well…. yeah this is looking more, “Dammit Batman! STOP THESE PLANS WITHIN PLANS!” Like seriously, the five other tries didn’t work out. Why think the sixth will be “just right”? It’s just becoming lazy crutch writers are having with the character.

Regardless of the various theories I have. One fact is quite clear. There will be no winners in this comic. Not with the characters or the readers. We’re six issues into this daring heavily flawed story. Just when you think the comic might pick itself up. You watch it fall over under its flawed hubris.

The idea Tom King had was right. But to go about it this way– this story was not for this era. More than ten years ago. Yes, this story would be perfect for that era of DC Comics. Now? It’s just– mediocrity of edge.

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