Top Ten Events DC Can Do Following DCeased

DC Comics recently announced DCeased, a six-issue series where people are turned into violent zombies after looking at a screen, which includes cell phones, laptops, and monitors. The series, launching May 1, will be written by Tom Taylor, with art by Trevor Hairsine, Stefan Gaudiano, James Harren, and Rain Beredo, because it’s not DC unless they need four artists over six issues.

Some of the writers at Comicspit have had an antagonistic relationship with DC in the past due to a certain countdown clock, but as a metaphorical olive branch, we’re here to offer up ten new events DC can use following DCeased.

  1. DCeit-Despite the name sound like deceit, the event actually sees the Justice League discussing which new office chairs to purchase.
  2. DCM Punk-In a crossover with the WWE, Vince McMahon hires the Justice League to beat up CM Punk following his 2011 pipe bomb speech.
  3. DCiCi’s Pizza-Strapped for cash, the Justice League head to Gotham’s only $5.49 all-you-can-eat pizza buffet.
  4. DC No Evil DHear No Evil-A shot-for-shot adaptation of the 1989 Richard Pryor/Gene Wilder movie of the same name.
  5. The Old Man and DCea-Set in the same continuity as The Dark Knight Returns, an old Bruce Wayne battles against Aquaman in a real fish out of water story.
  6. DCexual Harassment Crisis-A rumor makes the rounds that a high ranking Justice League member is a sexual harasser, causing panic in the offices because nobody knows if it’s them. Despite constant rumors of who the culprit is, it takes a Buzzfeed article before the Justice League fires the sexual harasser.
  7. DCease and DCist-The Justice League’s lawyers send a cease and desist letter to a satirical news outlet, not realizing Lois Lane writes for the site under the pen name Julie Scary.
  8. DCeething DContempt-An autobio comic about DC’s history with Alan Moore and creator rights.
  9. DCene of da Crime-A murder mystery show in the vein of CSI. Imagine if Identity Crisis could get worse.
  10. Washington DC-Tom King writes himself into the DCU, ala Alan Moore, and solves all the problems with his expert CIA knowledge.
    Superman still dreams of a million ways Lois Lane can be tortured and you’re a bad person for questioning Tom King .

Hopefully this mends any bridges between myself and DC and Dan Didio doesn’t run away from me at Comic Con again. But I doubt it.

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